Finn n Jake

Title

Lawd a mercy what a shitty year!!! I hope everyone is doing as well as can be expected. In typical me fashion I have no idea when or what I last updated about and am too lazy to check so I'll just type what I feel. 

I'm 35 now and I've settled down? Lol I guess it's weird to say bc I never un-settled?? I was picked on so much in high school and had no friends in college etc and as an only child it has always been in my nature to be a loner. I think I've just become okay with it more recently. I used to be mad annoying in trying to get and keep friends and despite that it never works out in the long run... which I've accepted. I remember the days when most of my friends were on this site lol and I mean I have no regrets I had good times. But at some point, I learned to accept that I'm not made for long term friendships?? I honestly don't say this like it's a sad or bad thing. Because I'm happy. But just thinking on that... some of the "best friends" I've had in my life:

1) Told me I ruined her childhood and that she regretted spending so much time with me

2) Told me her bf abused her, making me hate him, making me tell her she was better off when he cheated and she was leaving.. then suddenly she was pregnant and married and "happy" and I was the bad guy lol

3) Had multiple personality disorder that I only found about after she snapped on me several times for no apparent reason so I blocked her (and never felt the need to unblock)

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Finn n Jake

(no subject)

So I found LJ again (was it lost?) and my background is a bunch of weird frowny faces saying the image has disappeared off tinypic, lol. I can't even remember what it was tbh.

So what's good? It's been nearly a year since I've posted on here. I sometimes log in to read my archives and laugh at how pathetic and needy I was in the past. Being in a LDR with someone who I was so in love with, who had mental issues and was so hot and cold really took a toll on me and I can see it in those entries. Man, I thought I was so happy then. I mean, I was... at times. But overall I was just anxious and clingy. Unfortunately I was damn near 30 then lol.

Life is much calmer, better, happier now. I will say that I don't have a lot of friends but I realize that this is how I prefer it. I have one good friend, who we even call each other best friends, but when we had it out once (we have forgiven and forgotten), I remembered why I prefer to be friendless... the energy it takes to please people is astounding. She complained about how she always had to call me bc I never call her (I hate the phone, always have always will), about how I was supposed to hold water about certain things to certain people.... man it was just a mess. I do love her still but I was about ready to drop her tbh. I still have a lot of acquaintances who I like and who like me and I'm cool with that.

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Finn n Jake

(no subject)

This has been the busiest time of my entire life. I can't complain because it's all positive but it's exhausting.

So I bought a house and I've been moving in and now I'm pretty much moved in. I stayed here alone with my cats for the first time and I'm not scared or anything. I let my dad spend the night and be the "hero" to "protect me" my first night lmao. I didn't need or want him but my mom said he wants to feel "included" so I was like ok whatever. Then my mom spent the night just because but I am fine alone. Tonight i have to sleep back at their house because she doesn't want me to dirty up MY OWN place before the housewarming party tomorrow lmao whatever. The cats are adjusting pretty well... the first day was full of them wandering around meowing lol but Clarence has a favorite spot looking out the window at the bottom of the stairs and Alejandro mostly sits with me on the couch. It can be a little lonely but as an only child I'm used to not having people around and it's nice. I miss my mom but she is close and I will continue to see her ... I live downtown (small city downtown) so whenever her or her grandma go out and do anything they will be close to her and I told them they can come visit whenever. It's literally like a 9 min drive from their house so. I am glad I stayed near them... I was looking at downtown Atlanta etc but I'm glad I didn't do it. I like it here very much.

Tara and I went to Europe and our relationship is back to what it was before.... I was worried because we were having so many fights and I didn't know if we'd get through it and the counselor was good but certainly didn't magically fix everything but then suddenly everything was great again. I don't even know what happened but we both took blame and are making an effort. She is so good and honest and loyal and I am lucky to have her. We got along so well on our trip and had such a good time.

We started out flying to Amsterdam, in our lay down flat bed first class seats (LOVE THEM). 2 and a half days in Amsterdam, not a lot but we still got a lot done, and then a train to Paris. My 3rd trip to Paris but it's still as beautiful and magical as ever. Tara's first time and she's been wanting to go forever. I'm so glad I got to be the one to take her. We had to climb an ASSLOAD of stairs and it sucked but it was so worth it. We saw the eiffel tower, climbed to the top of Notre Dame and Arc de Triumph, and took a hop on hop off bus and saw most of the city. It was wonderful. I'm so lucky I have someone who loves me who I love who loves to travel and go on adventures with me.

I'll close this out with some pictures I took... I really love to take pictures and edit them and make them pretty and people say I'm good at it but I know I could never make a career or anything out of it. It's all good though. I love it.



Finn n Jake

objection

I'd like to take a time out of my usual lj ranting and/or whining to go completely fangirl ballistic for a minute.


if you have a DS and you've never played Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, do it NAOW.

I played the first 3 (love love LOVED them) and am now playing Miles Edgeworth (the prosecutor of the series)'s game. They're all 4 amazing and wonderful and funny and great.

That is all! ty
Finn n Jake

Always brings the lulz

Karen: Ah, Smitty, I'm having a little hubby trouble. How about cheering me up with one of your jokes?
Smitty: I'm afraid I'm not in much of a joking mood. You see, my wife died Christmas, and I just haven't been myself since.
Karen: [laughs hysterically] Ah, Smitty. You always know just what to say.


Karen: Ah, Smitty, I'm feeling a little down. A friend told me that she didn't think I'd be a good mother.
Smitty: Well, ah, my own mother was shot dead in front of me, by her boyfriend when I was twelve. And I've been haunted ever since wondering if I could have saved her.
Karen: (bursting into fits of laughter)... I am telling you, you have got to start writing these down!
Finn n Jake

(no subject)

Actually, I think the term nowadays is "blog". I had one of these when I was 18, with GreaterJournal because LJ cost money then. I actually found it the other day and erased that shit ASAP - talk about embarrassing. I may have been 18 but I sounded more like a 12 year old. Ugh I know I was immature back in the day but I didn't know it was that bad. I have a selective memory I guess.

Anyway, I am 23 years old (turned it in December). I don't have an exciting, club-going party life. I am pretty laid back and boring. I love video games, watching football, animals (especially cats), creative writing. Shit like that. I like to stay up late and sleep late. I really need to know what im going to do as a career because I graduate college with a psychology degree in a few months. I need a job that isn't shitty and boring.